Stories from the Lingerie Store

Author: Harper Klay, founder of Shonkinite and creator of the Lingerie Shop Girl podcast

Edited by: Molly Robinson, Suelto manager

This story was originally published in the Fort Benton River Press.

A smile entered the lingerie store. This was the kind of smile that lights up a being and a room. This smile belonged to a 20-something man that followed his girlfriend into the store. “When I was a kid, my mom would cover my eyes when we would pass this store, and now I have a reason to come in here!”

I’m conflicted about this man’s comment. As enthusiastic and gleeful as this man was to be in the shop, there is an element of suppression and an insinuation that a shop window showcasing undergarments is not appropriate for the eyes of children. The comments people make about the store window reveal a conflict between women’s needs and societal taboos. We specialize in bra fittings, a service all women require, and we are on a mission to normalize our conversations around them.

“If my nose wasn’t so big today, I would try on some lingerie” a woman recently said upon entering Suelto. This woman walked in with her friend, for whom she adoringly praised each undergarment she tried on. Yet, she was feeling self-conscious and applied that to her sense of worth to enter a dressing room.

Shopping for lingerie is vulnerable and we do our best to make it comfortable and fun. Interactions lead to enlightening and occasionally funny encounters. Our customers share boudoir photos, newly augmented breasts, or stop by to process a recent struggle in their lives. We are introduced to friends, family, and even puppies. But it’s not always lighthearted. We see women navigate major life changes—from infidelity and divorce to mastectomies and breast cancer recovery. Breasts change with childbirth, medication, perimenopause, and menopause.

Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and we want everyone who walks through our doors to feel confident in their amazing body. Clothing is made to fit your body— not the other way around. You shouldn’t have to be a certain size to feel comfortable in your clothes. We are so much more than the number on a bra tag. There is no standard sizing and size numbers are often arbitrary. As fashion and technology evolves, professional bra-fitters are committed to continuing education.

We often see customers surprised when they discover the cup size we pull for them. There is a common misconception that cup size is the same regardless of band size— for example, a 34B and a 36B are thought to be the same cup volume, just bigger around. This isn’t true. Cup size directly correlates with band size, so a 30C, 32B, and 34A are the same cup volume.

When we pull a smaller band size for someone who’s been wearing one that’s too big, they’re often faced with a 30F or 30G. It can be a shock, but a 30F is the same cup volume as a 34D. Most customers become more comfortable with this new size once they realize how much better it fits and how much more comfortable it feels.

The majority of lift and support from a bra comes from the band. If it’s too loose, you end up with shoulder divots and pain. A loose band means the bra moves independently from your body, causing wires to dig in and forcing you to adjust your breast tissue throughout the day. When your bra doesn’t fit properly, it can interfere with your life—whether you’re riding a horse, shopping for groceries, or simply moving through your day.

What I most often see are women who are wearing the right cup size, but too large of a band size. Sometimes this is because the store they purchased from didn’t carry a cup size big enough, but often, women get fitted for a bra once—usually as a young adult or at a change point such as post-baby, and continue buying the same size year after year. Our bodies change throughout our lives, and it’s important to get refitted every couple of years, or at least after a major life event.

Wearing properly fitting undergarments can transform the way your clothes look. We want you to leave feeling confident, comfortable, and ready to take on the world!